Blabbing away...

Not much to update on, really. My husband is in our home state on leave for nearly a month. I'm going to miss him, that's for sure, but being able to pick what I want to watch on tv, making meals based on what I want, and having the bed all to myself make the time he's gone easier to handle. :) hahaha... And I know the time will fly by and he'll be home before I know it.

Work is stressing me out. I had to borrow my husband's ipod to take with me, because their constant blabbing about stupid stuff makes me want to scream. It wouldn't be so bad if I had my own cubicle, but there are 7 of us in what used to be one person's office. It's cramped! Oh how I wish I could find another job, but I just hit my one year mark, so I finally have vacation time, and since we'll most likely be transferring in approximately a year and a half, it seems silly to find a new job. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that when we do transfer I'll be able to stay home with a new baby. Wouldn't that be nice?? :)

Just wanted to post a quick update so ya'll don't think I went off the deep end for good. I really appreciate the kind words - it helps to know I'm not the only one to feel that way! Now I'm off to veg out of the couch and relax with a book.

- Honeybee

Bitterness

You know, I'm normally a very positive person. I am normally genuinely happy for people who get pregnant and have babies. But some days are harder than others. Some days I wonder why all of my cousins seem to get pregnant before they're in committed relationships... Why they get pregnant when they don't have a desire to be a mother in the first place.... Why they get pregnant while on birth control... And why do my friends get pregnant after just a couple months of trying... Why do they get a surprise baby when they've made the decision to not have any more children... Why are they blessed with beautiful bundles of joy and my husband and I cannot get pregnant without medicine and doctors offices and the least romantic situations you can think of. Why them and not me? Why not them and me?

Having a rough week... Well, rough month more like it. My best friend gave birth at the end of June, to her 3rd child, a surprise pregnancy, and yes, I am ecstatic for her, but I'm sad for me. And then I had my first IUI end in a BFN, which obviously added to my sadness. Plus the feelings of regret that I wasn't able to make my father a grandfather before he passed away. And this week a cousin gave birth to her first child. A surprise pregnancy with an on-off boyfriend she's had for a number of years. Again, thrilled for her, sad for me... I'm feeling bitter this week. This is not me at my best. And I don't like feeling this way.

- Honeybee

New beginning....

CD1! Wish we were jumping right into our next IUI but since my husband will be going on leave for a month soon, we'll have to wait until he returns. Sure, I wish we didn't have to wait, but I don't mind too much. I'm actually just happy to have had my shortest cycle in as long as I can remember and yes, it would have been beyond amazing to have gotten pregnant with this cycle, but a year ago I knew something was wrong with my body but had no idea what it was or what we could do to fix it. Now we are finally on the path to parenthood, and one way or another we will get there, and that's why I'm smiling today. :)

- Honeybee

Well said!

- Honeybee

This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof...

This is a bullet post kind of day...

1. Time to finish the blog challenge... and it ends with a picture of yours truly. :) So this is me... just over a year ago, right before we left California and journeyed to Virginia. My hair is no longer blonde - I've gone back to being a brunette - and my hair was only pretending to be straight that day. :) haha...

2. A year ago today my dad joined the angels in heaven, after losing his battle with lung cancer. My husband and I were able to be with my dad and my mom and my brothers during my dad's last week on Earth, and I was by his side 24/7 while he was in hospice. My mom and I were at his side when he took his last breath, and I have never been more devastated. I wish I could say it's easier now, after a year, but I miss him more every single day.

3. IUI #1 has ended with a BFN. Yes, I am disappointed, but I know it's not the end for us, and so we'll be okay. :) Unfortunately we have to wait a month at least before we can do another IUI because my husband will be traveling back home and we really don't want to freeze his sperm - we'll just wait until there's no state separating us. I think the hardest part about the BFN was telling my husband. I had a feeling that it hadn't happened for us this time, but he was so hopeful that I felt like I was ruining all his dreams. Of course he is very understanding and supportive, and together we'll get through this. :)

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

- Honeybee

What feelings sound like...

     “Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”

Wow, talk about nearly impossible. 2 songs? These are not necessarily my favorite songs, just 2 of the many songs I happen to love...

1. Powder River Home by Chris Ledoux.

"There's a full moon risin' in the prairie sky tonight
Lord it's good to be on my way home.
Over that horizon she keeps the home fires burin' bright
I'm goin' back to my powder river home."

First of all, Chris Ledoux has some amazing music! My husband and I would have loved to have seen him alive (he passed away a few years ago). But this song has a soft place in my heart because my husband likes to play this song when he's on his way home from deployments. And I remember on his most recent deployment, see his FB status change, knowing he was finally on his way home. :)

So yeah... Chris Ledoux is amazing. Definitely recommend checking out his music! And another side note, his song "Look At You Girl" is what my husband and I danced to at our wedding. :)

2. Reckless by Alabama... I just love this song, because it makes me think of a beautiful summer day with your windows rolled down cruising down some country roads. Doesn't get much better than that! :)

There you have it, 2 of my many favorite songs! :)

- Honeybee

You can call me Queen of the world

Many thanks to Sarah at Baby Talk for giving me the Overlord Award!

That's right folks, with that award, I can make up 3 rules!! Wow, that's kind of tough...

1. Everyone must speak at least 2 languages. But I'll make it easy on you - you can choose a second language to be completely fluent in, with just the snap of a finger. I've always wished I was at least bi-lingual, but it's tough to learn a new language! If I had to pick, I think I'd go with Spanish. I took French in high school, but with all the Spanish speaking people in America, I'd like to be able to understand what they're saying!

2. Your hair, no matter what type you have, will behave just as you would like it to. If you want shiny, stick straight hair today, voila, you have it! If you want gorgeous frizz-free ringlets, consider it done! Never again will you have a bad hair day.

3. Weekends are immediately upped to 3 days, instead of 2. Work will continue just fine, the world will not come to a grinding halt. More time for afternoon naps and evening BBQ's and days on the lake! :)

There you have it, a glimpse into life if I were Queen! :)

Not sure who hasn't done this yet... so if you haven't done it yet, please join in!!

- Honeybee

Don't make me count to 3!

Oops, I missed a day again! My husband and I had a full day and didn't get home until nearly 1 am, that's my excuse. We went to lunch at this Greek restaurant in town with our friend and her son. It was very yummy! I am a picky eater and don't like to branch out, but this was delicious. Will definitely go again. Then we drove up the Eastern Shore of Virginia looking for little shops and such, but we had no luck - none of the stores were open! But we stopped a few places and had fun and drove all the way up to Maryland, had dinner, and then drove home. :) It was a very nice day. And our friend - she is so sweet - she knows that we are struggling with infertility and she presented me with a gift yesterday: a box with 2 pregnancy tests, a book on the development of a baby (with really awesome photographs of the baby in the womb), Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and peppermint foot lotion. :) Wasn't that sweet of her? My husband said he knew the gift was coming, because she wanted to make sure I wouldn't be offended or anything, you know? But I thought it was very, very thoughtful of her, and I am so sad that in just about a month she'll be moving and won't be here with us anymore. :( Oh well, it just means we'll get to make a trip to Georgia in the future! :)

Anyways, we had a fabulous day together, and that's why I didn't get yesterday's blog challenge done. So here it is today... 3 films...

1. Pride and Prejudice. The one with Keira Knightley. I could watch this movie everyday and never tire of it. When my husband is deployed or off hunting or on leave in Ohio I always watch this movie. It's definitely a favorite.

2. Lonesome Dove. One of my favorite books and one of my favorite movies. I love that it stays true to the book for the most part, unlike so many other movies. And I think Robert Duvall does a fabulous job of portraying Gus.

3. In Her Shoes. Love this movie! It's about a relationship between 2 sisters, and it really pulls at your heartstrings. This movie always makes me cry! It might seem kind of slow, but believe me, it's a good one.

Ta-ta for now!

- Honeybee

“A home without books is a body without soul.”

10dpiui today. Only 4 more days til I know for sure. I'm going crazy over here!

On to the blog challenge... 4 books. This is a tough one because I love to read. I own way too many books, but I can't bring myself to part with any of them because I love to re-read my books! I always have a book in my car (actually, I confess I currently have 3 books in my car!) and often carry a book in my purse as well. I don't understand how anybody could not love to read! :) This is only a very very very limited list of books I would recommend to someone.

1. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry. Great book! Loved it! Read it! Gus is awesome. :)

2. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell. A classic! I wish I could go back in time and live on a southern plantation and wear hoop skirts. Ahhh, sounds like bliss!

3. Roses by Leila Meacham. I just read this book, but I loved it! There were so many times that I wanted to shake the characters to hopefully bring some sense into their heads, and it kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time I read it.

4. The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling. Yes, I know how dorky this makes me, but I don't care. I have loved every single book and I re-read them all the time. I really like that last book of the series the best, but I hate that it had to end. :( I swear, that's how you know when you love a book - when you are sad and feel like you've lost part of your family when the book ends!

"The greatest gift is a passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination." - Elizabeth Hardwick

- Honeybee

A day late and a dollar short!

Oops, I never got around to getting on here last night. Went out to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise (food was only so-so and the service wasn't all that great) followed up by ice cream at Cold Stone (yummy) with the husband and a friend and her adorable blue-eyed son.

So here I am this morning to fulfill day 5 of the challenge. 5 foods....

1. My mom's meatloaf. I love it! My husband cannot stand it. I love it so much that I wrote a poem in 5th grade to express my love for it. :) hahaha... My husband hates it so much that 2 years after we were married, during which time I made meatloaf a lot, he told me that he hated it and couldn't stand to eat it another day! lol

2. Chicken. Mmmm, boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Yummy! I could eat chicken everyday and never tire of it.

3. Egg salad. Oh my god. Amazing! I love that my husband doesn't eat eggs because I get all of the egg salad to myself! Nobody to share it with! :)

4. Tuna salad. Normally I hate seafood and don't eat a lick of it. But I love to eat tuna salad (that I make myself so I can be sure there's plenty of mayo!). It is so very yummy!

5. Sprinkles. I have an unhealthy obsession with sprinkles. I cannot eat ice cream without sprinkles. Therefore, I don't buy sprinkles very often so that I won't eat too much ice cream. It's a good system. :)

Are you feeling hungry now? haha :)

- Honeybee