Sunday, September 4, 2011

Take me out to the ball game...

This upcoming week my mom will be hiring a lawyer for my husband and I to get custody of my half-brother. We'll call him bumblebee on here (gotta keep the theme going, right? haha). Hopefully everything will go smoothly and bumblebee will be able to accompany my mom and brother here for Thanksgiving and will stay with us once they go back home. Today my husband and I went to Target and picked up a few things for his bedroom that we're setting up. We decided to convert our computer room into his bedroom. We were going to just use the guest room at first, but decided we want to keep the guest room since I know we'll be getting more visits now. So, we have to buy everything you can think of, since all we have in the computer room is a desk, obviously, and a sofa bed, which we will get rid of. He already has a comforter, but we got some cute sheets that were on sale and an awesome lamp to put on his nightstand and some pegs to hang on his walls (which I imagine we'll use to hang his clothes out for school the night before). They are all sports themed, because he really likes baseball, and they'll go well with his solid color comforter. I'm very excited about putting a room together for him. I also started a binder that I'm keeping lists of all the things we need/want to do, and I'm excited to fill it full of information. My husband called his mom and his dad and broke the news to them. His dad was shocked, to say the least, but is supportive of our decision. His mom, on the other hand, was giddy with excitement! And as soon as she got of the phone with my husband she called his brother and sister, who both called us, and they were ecstatic too! I also told my birth mom, who said she was very proud of us. I'm really glad that everyone is on our side and is ready to support us in any way. Bumblebee is going to be part of a very loving family, that's for sure! :)

- Honeybee

Friday, September 2, 2011

Curve ball

I know, I know, I'm horrible at updating. But I'm back to share this... life has thrown a curve ball at my husband and I. We had unofficially decided that we would wait until January to continue with IUI because the military doesn't cover the process, and if I get on my work's insurance then we'll get fertility coverage. So we decided that we'll hold off until then, in order to pay less out of pocket. And that is still the plan as of right now, but this week we received a life changing phone call. And it's a rather long story and I'd rather not put all the dirty details out there right now, but the short and sweet version is that my husband and I will be getting custody of my youngest half-brother and raising him. We have the same biological father - his biological mother's half sister had custody of him until yesterday, when my mom got temporary emergency custody. My mom is going to hire a lawyer in order to help my husband and I get full custody of him, so he can come live with us. My mom would love to have him, she adores him, but my mom is told old to raise another child (reminder: my mom adopted my brother and I 20 some years ago, after raising her own son) so we are more than happy to take him into our home. He is turning 11 in a few weeks, so it's incredibly scary to be going from 0 to an 11 year old, but my husband and I can give him a stable home and the love that he deserves, and I'm excited to do what I can for him. :)

One heck of a curve ball, huh?

- Honeybee

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Hello again!

I'm a bad blogger. But, I was out of town for awhile, so I have a good excuse for not updating! :)

Took a mini road trip with a good friend and her adorable son to visit the homes of James Monroe (Ash Lawn-Highland) and Thomas Jefferson (Monticello), both of which were beyond gorgeous. Followed by a yummy dinner in Charlottesville and plenty of people watching in the pedestrian mall while enjoying ice cream.

Spent 3 days in Wisconsin with a fabulous friend and her fiance. Took the train to Chicago, did tons of shopping, toured Jelly Belly and bought 2 lbs of jelly beans, played beer pong (with Smirnoff!), spent half a day at the Renaissance Fair, and enjoyed a bonfire. Awesome time had by all! :)

Then I spent roughly 2 days in Ohio visiting mine and my husband's family and watching my very first demolition derby, which my husband just happened to have a car in! He did well enough in his heat to make it to the feature, but after only having 15 minutes to work on the car and get it running for the feature, his battery was dead and he wasn't able to run in the feature. But he had an amazing time, and I would be very suprised if he doesn't derby again next year. :)

Now I'm back home, with a million pictures to edit, but no motivation to get them done. After being so busy all I want to do is sit around and relax, so that's exactly what I'm going to do!

- Honeybee

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

Blabbing away...

Not much to update on, really. My husband is in our home state on leave for nearly a month. I'm going to miss him, that's for sure, but being able to pick what I want to watch on tv, making meals based on what I want, and having the bed all to myself make the time he's gone easier to handle. :) hahaha... And I know the time will fly by and he'll be home before I know it.

Work is stressing me out. I had to borrow my husband's ipod to take with me, because their constant blabbing about stupid stuff makes me want to scream. It wouldn't be so bad if I had my own cubicle, but there are 7 of us in what used to be one person's office. It's cramped! Oh how I wish I could find another job, but I just hit my one year mark, so I finally have vacation time, and since we'll most likely be transferring in approximately a year and a half, it seems silly to find a new job. I'll just keep my fingers crossed that when we do transfer I'll be able to stay home with a new baby. Wouldn't that be nice?? :)

Just wanted to post a quick update so ya'll don't think I went off the deep end for good. I really appreciate the kind words - it helps to know I'm not the only one to feel that way! Now I'm off to veg out of the couch and relax with a book.

- Honeybee

Friday, July 15, 2011


You know, I'm normally a very positive person. I am normally genuinely happy for people who get pregnant and have babies. But some days are harder than others. Some days I wonder why all of my cousins seem to get pregnant before they're in committed relationships... Why they get pregnant when they don't have a desire to be a mother in the first place.... Why they get pregnant while on birth control... And why do my friends get pregnant after just a couple months of trying... Why do they get a surprise baby when they've made the decision to not have any more children... Why are they blessed with beautiful bundles of joy and my husband and I cannot get pregnant without medicine and doctors offices and the least romantic situations you can think of. Why them and not me? Why not them and me?

Having a rough week... Well, rough month more like it. My best friend gave birth at the end of June, to her 3rd child, a surprise pregnancy, and yes, I am ecstatic for her, but I'm sad for me. And then I had my first IUI end in a BFN, which obviously added to my sadness. Plus the feelings of regret that I wasn't able to make my father a grandfather before he passed away. And this week a cousin gave birth to her first child. A surprise pregnancy with an on-off boyfriend she's had for a number of years. Again, thrilled for her, sad for me... I'm feeling bitter this week. This is not me at my best. And I don't like feeling this way.

- Honeybee

Saturday, July 9, 2011

New beginning....

CD1! Wish we were jumping right into our next IUI but since my husband will be going on leave for a month soon, we'll have to wait until he returns. Sure, I wish we didn't have to wait, but I don't mind too much. I'm actually just happy to have had my shortest cycle in as long as I can remember and yes, it would have been beyond amazing to have gotten pregnant with this cycle, but a year ago I knew something was wrong with my body but had no idea what it was or what we could do to fix it. Now we are finally on the path to parenthood, and one way or another we will get there, and that's why I'm smiling today. :)

- Honeybee

Friday, July 8, 2011

Well said!

- Honeybee

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

This time, baby, I'll be bulletproof...

This is a bullet post kind of day...

1. Time to finish the blog challenge... and it ends with a picture of yours truly. :) So this is me... just over a year ago, right before we left California and journeyed to Virginia. My hair is no longer blonde - I've gone back to being a brunette - and my hair was only pretending to be straight that day. :) haha...

2. A year ago today my dad joined the angels in heaven, after losing his battle with lung cancer. My husband and I were able to be with my dad and my mom and my brothers during my dad's last week on Earth, and I was by his side 24/7 while he was in hospice. My mom and I were at his side when he took his last breath, and I have never been more devastated. I wish I could say it's easier now, after a year, but I miss him more every single day.

3. IUI #1 has ended with a BFN. Yes, I am disappointed, but I know it's not the end for us, and so we'll be okay. :) Unfortunately we have to wait a month at least before we can do another IUI because my husband will be traveling back home and we really don't want to freeze his sperm - we'll just wait until there's no state separating us. I think the hardest part about the BFN was telling my husband. I had a feeling that it hadn't happened for us this time, but he was so hopeful that I felt like I was ruining all his dreams. Of course he is very understanding and supportive, and together we'll get through this. :)

We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope. - Martin Luther King, Jr.

- Honeybee

What feelings sound like...

     “Music speaks what cannot be expressed, soothes the mind and gives it rest, heals the heart and makes it whole, flows from heaven to the soul.”

Wow, talk about nearly impossible. 2 songs? These are not necessarily my favorite songs, just 2 of the many songs I happen to love...

1. Powder River Home by Chris Ledoux.

"There's a full moon risin' in the prairie sky tonight
Lord it's good to be on my way home.
Over that horizon she keeps the home fires burin' bright
I'm goin' back to my powder river home."

First of all, Chris Ledoux has some amazing music! My husband and I would have loved to have seen him alive (he passed away a few years ago). But this song has a soft place in my heart because my husband likes to play this song when he's on his way home from deployments. And I remember on his most recent deployment, see his FB status change, knowing he was finally on his way home. :)

So yeah... Chris Ledoux is amazing. Definitely recommend checking out his music! And another side note, his song "Look At You Girl" is what my husband and I danced to at our wedding. :)

2. Reckless by Alabama... I just love this song, because it makes me think of a beautiful summer day with your windows rolled down cruising down some country roads. Doesn't get much better than that! :)

There you have it, 2 of my many favorite songs! :)

- Honeybee

Monday, July 4, 2011

You can call me Queen of the world

Many thanks to Sarah at Baby Talk for giving me the Overlord Award!

That's right folks, with that award, I can make up 3 rules!! Wow, that's kind of tough...

1. Everyone must speak at least 2 languages. But I'll make it easy on you - you can choose a second language to be completely fluent in, with just the snap of a finger. I've always wished I was at least bi-lingual, but it's tough to learn a new language! If I had to pick, I think I'd go with Spanish. I took French in high school, but with all the Spanish speaking people in America, I'd like to be able to understand what they're saying!

2. Your hair, no matter what type you have, will behave just as you would like it to. If you want shiny, stick straight hair today, voila, you have it! If you want gorgeous frizz-free ringlets, consider it done! Never again will you have a bad hair day.

3. Weekends are immediately upped to 3 days, instead of 2. Work will continue just fine, the world will not come to a grinding halt. More time for afternoon naps and evening BBQ's and days on the lake! :)

There you have it, a glimpse into life if I were Queen! :)

Not sure who hasn't done this yet... so if you haven't done it yet, please join in!!

- Honeybee

Sunday, July 3, 2011

Don't make me count to 3!

Oops, I missed a day again! My husband and I had a full day and didn't get home until nearly 1 am, that's my excuse. We went to lunch at this Greek restaurant in town with our friend and her son. It was very yummy! I am a picky eater and don't like to branch out, but this was delicious. Will definitely go again. Then we drove up the Eastern Shore of Virginia looking for little shops and such, but we had no luck - none of the stores were open! But we stopped a few places and had fun and drove all the way up to Maryland, had dinner, and then drove home. :) It was a very nice day. And our friend - she is so sweet - she knows that we are struggling with infertility and she presented me with a gift yesterday: a box with 2 pregnancy tests, a book on the development of a baby (with really awesome photographs of the baby in the womb), Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, and peppermint foot lotion. :) Wasn't that sweet of her? My husband said he knew the gift was coming, because she wanted to make sure I wouldn't be offended or anything, you know? But I thought it was very, very thoughtful of her, and I am so sad that in just about a month she'll be moving and won't be here with us anymore. :( Oh well, it just means we'll get to make a trip to Georgia in the future! :)

Anyways, we had a fabulous day together, and that's why I didn't get yesterday's blog challenge done. So here it is today... 3 films...

1. Pride and Prejudice. The one with Keira Knightley. I could watch this movie everyday and never tire of it. When my husband is deployed or off hunting or on leave in Ohio I always watch this movie. It's definitely a favorite.

2. Lonesome Dove. One of my favorite books and one of my favorite movies. I love that it stays true to the book for the most part, unlike so many other movies. And I think Robert Duvall does a fabulous job of portraying Gus.

3. In Her Shoes. Love this movie! It's about a relationship between 2 sisters, and it really pulls at your heartstrings. This movie always makes me cry! It might seem kind of slow, but believe me, it's a good one.

Ta-ta for now!

- Honeybee

Friday, July 1, 2011

“A home without books is a body without soul.”

10dpiui today. Only 4 more days til I know for sure. I'm going crazy over here!

On to the blog challenge... 4 books. This is a tough one because I love to read. I own way too many books, but I can't bring myself to part with any of them because I love to re-read my books! I always have a book in my car (actually, I confess I currently have 3 books in my car!) and often carry a book in my purse as well. I don't understand how anybody could not love to read! :) This is only a very very very limited list of books I would recommend to someone.

1. Lonesome Dove by Larry McMurtry. Great book! Loved it! Read it! Gus is awesome. :)

2. Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell. A classic! I wish I could go back in time and live on a southern plantation and wear hoop skirts. Ahhh, sounds like bliss!

3. Roses by Leila Meacham. I just read this book, but I loved it! There were so many times that I wanted to shake the characters to hopefully bring some sense into their heads, and it kept me on the edge of my seat the entire time I read it.

4. The Harry Potter Series by JK Rowling. Yes, I know how dorky this makes me, but I don't care. I have loved every single book and I re-read them all the time. I really like that last book of the series the best, but I hate that it had to end. :( I swear, that's how you know when you love a book - when you are sad and feel like you've lost part of your family when the book ends!

"The greatest gift is a passion for reading. It is cheap, it consoles, it distracts, it excites, it gives you knowledge of the world and experience of a wide kind. It is a moral illumination." - Elizabeth Hardwick

- Honeybee

A day late and a dollar short!

Oops, I never got around to getting on here last night. Went out to eat at Cheeseburger in Paradise (food was only so-so and the service wasn't all that great) followed up by ice cream at Cold Stone (yummy) with the husband and a friend and her adorable blue-eyed son.

So here I am this morning to fulfill day 5 of the challenge. 5 foods....

1. My mom's meatloaf. I love it! My husband cannot stand it. I love it so much that I wrote a poem in 5th grade to express my love for it. :) hahaha... My husband hates it so much that 2 years after we were married, during which time I made meatloaf a lot, he told me that he hated it and couldn't stand to eat it another day! lol

2. Chicken. Mmmm, boneless, skinless chicken breasts. Yummy! I could eat chicken everyday and never tire of it.

3. Egg salad. Oh my god. Amazing! I love that my husband doesn't eat eggs because I get all of the egg salad to myself! Nobody to share it with! :)

4. Tuna salad. Normally I hate seafood and don't eat a lick of it. But I love to eat tuna salad (that I make myself so I can be sure there's plenty of mayo!). It is so very yummy!

5. Sprinkles. I have an unhealthy obsession with sprinkles. I cannot eat ice cream without sprinkles. Therefore, I don't buy sprinkles very often so that I won't eat too much ice cream. It's a good system. :)

Are you feeling hungry now? haha :)

- Honeybee

Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Oh, the places you'll go!

Tired and very moody today. I am ready for the weekend! Why can't it be Friday yet??

So, is it weird that I am starting to feel discouraged already? I mean, I hope and pray that I am pregnant, but every day that passes I am feeling more and more like it just isn't going to happen this time around. I don't know why really, I can only think that it's because I don't want to get my hopes up only to have them dashed away! "Expect the worse, hope for the best."

On to the blog challenge... Today it's 6 places...

1. Ohio... where I was born and raised! I couldn't wait to leave, but now I look forward to the day we'll go home for good. :)

2. North Carolina.... like a home away from home. Where we always vacationed when I was growing up (Nags Head!) and where my older brother has lived since before my parents adopted my brother and I. Where I always thought I'd relocate to after leaving Ohio.

3. Washington... the first state I lived in once my husband and I were married. I loved it! We went salmon fishing all the time (amazing!!) and camping and four wheeling nearly every weekend. We were only there for a year together, and it was a fabulous time.

4. Iceland... Our first overseas duty station - hopefully not our last! :) It was incredible!!! I would move back in a heartbeat. They closed the base so we were only there for a year, and I was so sad to leave. Seriously, I totally recommend Iceland if you ever want to travel to a beautiful country!

5. California... Where we lived once we left Iceland. Where my husband was deployed more than he was home. Where I met some of the best friends I've ever had.

6. Virginia... Where we live now! It's a really nice area, and it's great being closer to Ohio (so we can drive home to visit family) but I've had a hard time making friends, and after the dry heat of California, I hate the humidity!

There you have it... 6 places I've called home at one time or the other! :)

- Honeybee

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

You can't always get what you want

Whew, I am in a very bad mood today. Easily annoyed and frustrated. One of those days when I would have done just about anything to have headphones at work so I could listen to music and not all my annoying coworkers!

But it's okay, I have ice cream with sprinkles to make me feel better tonight! hahaha...

Anyways, today on the challenge it's 7 wants... Here goes :)

1. I want to travel to Ireland. It looks like such a gorgeous country, and one day I will visit.

2. I want to get out of debt, for good! We aren't horribly in debt, but I would certainly prefer to be totally debt free.

3. I want to get my associates degree and be done with school once and for all! I am just not a college student, and I'm okay with that.

4. I want a horse! I love horses and someday, when my husband gets out of the Navy, I want us to live on enough land to have a horse or two.

5. I want to be a stay at home mom. I would love, love, love to stay at home and raise our children. My mom was a teacher so she was always home by the time we got home, and she was home with all us summer. I loved it! And I want that with my future children. :)

6. I want to learn how to use my camera better. I really need to learn all the settings and menus and such so that I can use it to it's full potential!

7. And yes, of course, I want to be a mom. Whether it's by biological children, or adoptive children, I want to be a mom, and I want my husband to be a dad.

- Honeybee

Monday, June 27, 2011

"Fear is the highest fence."

I am 6dpiui today. I am very anxious. Anxious for the time that I can test. Anxious to find out if it's negative or positive. Anxious for everything the future holds!

But in the 10 day challenge, I'm on 8 fears... so here goes...

1. Spiders. Nasty, terrifying creatures, aren't they? I depise them and am seriously afraid of them.

2. The possibility of being in a bad accident scares me. For some reason I've always had this fear that being in a bad accident is inevitable, and it really freaks me out. My husband is a very defensive driver and it makes me nervous, even though I know he's a good driver! Thank God I've never been involved in anything worse than minor rear-ends.

3. My house being broken into while I'm home. I always get so paranoid when my husband isn't home because I start imagining that all the noises a house makes are really someone breaking into our home. Sometiems I even create little boobie traps to make myself feel safer.

4. Puking in public. Okay, maybe not as serious as some of the others, but I am so afraid that one day I will have to puke and not be able to make it to a private place first. I've had some close calls, but I'm dreading the day that I don't make it to privacy and end up puking in front of people. How embarrassing would that be?

5. Fair rides. I used to love them. Those crazy spinning rides that make you scream from excitement and make you (nearly) puke.... But since I've gotten older I've become afraid of them. They make me nervous. I start to think about how safe they are, or rather aren't, and it takes a lot for me to actually go on one. And if I do go on one, I figure I used all my luck for that day and don't bother going on a second.

6. I'd be lying if I said I didn't fear a childfree future. Yes, I know we would be fine, but I long to have a child, and it scares me that we might not be able to have biological children, and it frightens me that we might not be able to afford adopting, or that an adoption might fall through and we never get to bring our child home.

7.  Something happening to my brother. My younger brother and I are about 18 months apart and we are very close. We were adopted together, and before we were adopted I took care of him almost exclusively, so it cemented a bond that will never be broken by time or distance. Of course I already feel a need to look out for him, just because I am older, but my brother is also gay, and it terrifies me that some ignorant person who does not understand that being gay does not make you a bad person will harm my brother. I would be beyond devestated if anything ever happened to him.

8. Obviously losing my husband is something that scares me. I know that anything can happen at anytime that could take him from me - and him being in the military and deploying to places like Iraq only adds to that fear. A future of missing him is a terrifying thought!

- Honeybee

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Love, and all things related

Day 2 of the 10 day challenge. Today it's 9 loves... And no, I'm not going to list my husband, family, or dogs, because of course I love them! That's a given. :)

1. I love summertime. I am not a big fan of humidity (doesn't mesh well with my curly hair!) but I love the late nights and the hot days. I do miss the freedom that summer brought when I was a kid though. Sure wish I could go back in time and enjoy another carefree summer.

Summer afternoon - summer afternoon; to me those have always been the two most beautiful words in the English language.  - Henry James

2. I love to mow the lawn. It was definitely my favorite chore when I was growing up. I like the solitude-ness of it. Unfortunately my husband loves to mow the lawn just as much as I do, so unless he's deployed I don't get to enjoy it anymore. :( hahaha...

"A good wife is one who can mow the lawn in the summer and put up the storm windows in the winter.” - W. C. Fields

3. I love to travel. I wish we were able to travel more often and more extensively. I don't have a desire to travel to South America or Africa, but other than that, I would love to go almost anywhere in the world! That's why I'm really hoping that we get overseas orders again!

“We live in a wonderful world that is full of beauty, charm and adventure. There is no end to the adventures we can have if only we seek them with our eyes open.” - Jawaharial Nehru

4. I love the military lifestyle. I have many friends who are counting down the hours until their husband gets out of the military, but I am enjoying his time serving our country and as happy as I will be when he does get out and we can move back to Ohio, I am just as happy to continue to support his career for the next 10 or so years. The fact that I love the military lifestyle doesn't mean I like my husband deploying, but we both realize that it would be a fact of life if he joined, so we accept it and move in. Gotta do what you gotta do! :)

"I thank God for my life, and for the stars and stripes,. May freedom forever fly, let it ring. Salute the ones who died, and the ones that give their lives so we don't have to sacrifice all the things we love." - Zac Brown Band

5. I love blankets. I don't like to feel exposed, so I love blankets because not only do they keep me warm (because I am always cold!) but they also help me feel protected! Wish is why, if you were to ever visit my home, you would find that I own at least 30 blankets. And I make sure to keep an extra blanket in each of our vehicles, just in case!

6. I love sweet tea. I grew up in Ohio where they just don't serve sweet tea. They make you do the work yourself! Sure is nice to live in Virginia now and be able to order sweet tea. :) Little things make me happy. hahaha...

7. I love to be positive and optimistic about life in general. I can't stand pessimistic people. I don't see what good being negative about anything does. I look for the positive in every situation, and yes, sometimes is hard, but I feel that making the choice to be positive can make a difference, and it's worth it to me!

"If you realized how powerful your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.” - Peace Pilgrim

8. I love photography. I love to stalk photography blogs, and I'm amazed at the beautiful photographs that people are capable of capturing. I wish I had that gift! Maybe someday if I practice enough.

9. I love to laugh. I want to laugh everyday. I want to laugh until I cry. Unfortunately I don't always get to. But believe me, I try my best! :) And I constantly get comments about my laugh. My father-in-law loves to hear my laugh. I love that my laugh makes other people happy. :)

"To me, there are three things everyone should do every day. Number one is laugh. Number two, spend some time in thought. Number three, you should have your emotions move you to tears. If you laugh, think, and cry, that's a heck of a day." - Jim Valvano

And there you have it... 9 loves of my life! :)

- Honeybee

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Blah, blah, blah

Ugh I feel crappy today. Woke up with a headache after going to bed much too late and having to wake up much too early for an eyebrow waxing appointment. Stopped at Rite Aid on my way to said appointment and saved nearly 15 bucks using coupons. Yes, I'm a couponer. I have a binder full of coupons - but I'm not "extreme" and I'm not a hoarder. :) haha... Came home from appointment and made breakfast for myself and my husband. Omelet for me, fried eggs and toast for him. I love eggs, but my husband only likes to dip his toast in the yolk. Which I find funny, cause as much as I love eggs, I hate the runny yolk, so we share eggs. He gets the yolk, I get the whites! Works out well. After breakfast my husband watched some television and I started reading my new book (Roses by Leila Meacham) and now you have the summary of my day so far. :) Aren't you glad I filled you in? Quite an exciting life I lead, I know.

Anyways, I've decided to take part in this 10 day challenge that so many blog are going. Mainly because if I do this everyday for the next 10 days we will be at July 4th, and July 5th is when my two weeks are up, so it works out pretty well, if I do say so myself!

Here we go.... 10 secrets. Now, I'm not going to spill my deep dark secrets for all the web to know, so instead I'll share 10 things about myself that you may not know (in other words, I haven't already disclosed this information in any other part of my blog). Only time will tell whether they will be interesting facts or just plain boring.

1. I used to be a nail biter. I would bite them all the time, but somehow, in the past year or so, I've stopped biting them. Not sure why exactly, perhaps I just grew out of it? I sure am happy though, because I like my nails to be longer and more "feminine" looking, that's for sure.

2. Sometimes I get really horrible migraines that make me throw up. They're awful and I hate them with a passion. But the weird part is that I've only ever gotten a migraine on a Sunday morning. I've never had them on any other day. My husband thinks it's because I don't drink enough water on Saturdays, but I don't think that's the reason. Maybe my body is just reacting badly to the fact that it's Sunday and the weekend is nearly over!

3. I am a very hard worker and I take pride in my job and the work that I do. However, that being said, I am not a morning person and I am often late to work because of that. Not anything extravagant - usually anywhere from 1 to 10 minutes. But I always go above and beyond to get my work done, so I figure if an employer fires me for being late, it's their loss more than it is mine. That probably makes it sound like I get fired a lot, but I actually land jobs quickly every time we move, and I end up working there until it's time for us to move again, so apparently my employers don't mind me constantly being late. Well, I take that back... one employer did (I was late twice, once because I got lost and once because my alarm did not go off) but we were moving soon anyways, so it didn't bother me much.

4. I really don't like cats. I love dogs, but cats, not so much. This all stems back to the black cat that my mom had when I was younger. She used to scratch me a lot, so I was afraid of her. My parents had her declawed (she was an indoor cat) so she started biting me instead. When she got out one day and never came home I was secretly happy, because I disliked her so much. To this day cats make me nervous because they seem to be plotting evilness towards me.

5. I was in the delivery room when my best friend gave birth to her first child, a beautiful daughter, because our husbands were deployed to Iraq. It was absolutely amazing, and I feel blessed and so thankful that she allowed me to share that moment with her!

6. My very first car was a Dodge Neon that my mom and dad let me pick out when I was 15. My dad had crashed his van, so when buying a new car they decided to let me pick it out with the knowledge that when I got my drivers license the car would be mine to drive and that when I went off to college, they would put the car in my name. I loved that car and was very sad when we had to sell it before moving to Iceland. I still miss my Neon and really wish we could have kept it!

7. When my brother turned 16, I took him skydiving. Because of our age we had to do static line - which is where you jump out of the plane by yourself but your parachute is essentially connected to the plane and once you are so far away from the plane it opens the chute for you. It was incredibly scary but absolutely amazing, and I will definitely do it again one day.

8. I am paranoid about my doors being locked. I always lock doors behind me, which my husband finds somewhat amusing and somewhat infuriating. But it makes me feel safer, and that's why I do it. I can't fall asleep at night until I know the doors are locked - including the bedroom door.

9. I'm not a big fan of pizza sauce. Well, actually, red sauce. I used to love spaghetti when I was growing up. But shortly after I married I started getting an aversion to red sauce on pizza or pasta. It made me want to throw up. I have become better about eating it, but I still prefer ordering white sauce pizza and I like my pasta plain. Which is something that the husband and I disagree over - he likes to mix the pasta in with the meat and sauce, but I want to keep it separate so that I can control how much (or in my case, how little) sauce is on my pasta.

10. Even though my family always vacationed at Nags Head when I was growing up, and even though we lived near the Pacific Ocean, and now we live near the Atlantic Ocean (when I say near, I mean 5 minutes away) I really am not a beach person at all. I prefer the privacy of a home swimming pool. And I also prefer not having pounds of sand in my hair for weeks. But I still feel guilty for living so close to the ocean but not taking advantage of it!

Alrighty then... 10 facts about me that you never knew before. :) Sure was harder than I thought it would be! Hopefully it wasn't too boring reading about me.

Time for an afternoon nap to hopefully get rid of this headache!

- Honeybee

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Tick, tock, tick, tock...

I feel like I have permanent butterflies in my stomach. I am trying so hard to not analyze every little thing, and I'm trying hard not to get too hopeful, but it sure is tough! How in the world am I supposed to get through 2 weeks of this waiting game? Yikes! You'd think I'd be used to waiting with my husband's deployments and all. But I have a feeling these 2 weeks are going to drag by even slower than a 6 month deployment!

- Honeybee

Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Wishing and hoping and thinking and praying...

Well our first IUI has been completed! :) Yay!!

The whole procedure went smoothly. We were there at 8 for Seabee's part, and the actual IUI was at 9:30. Seabee's sperm was great.... they said they like at least 10 million sperm, and at least 50% motility. Seabee had a post wash sperm count of 30 million with 66% motility. My husband was proud of himself. ;) hahaha... The actual IUI was much quicker than I imagined it would be, and not painful in the least bit. And, can I just add that it surprised me that the sperm wash was $120 OOP, but the IUI was $255 OOP. Really? Doesn't it seem weird that the IUI, which took the doctor all of a minute to complete was so much more expensive than the sperm wash? Just seems odd to me! Anyways... I took the whole day off work, so after the procedure we went home and took a nap before going out to do some shopping. :) So now we're in the two week wait... My first ever! I hope I can make it without going crazy!

Now... something I am really nervous about is that our two week wait is over on July 5th. Which just so happens to be exactly one year since my father passed away. It would be amazing to get a positive result that day (but heartbreaking at the same time, since I would give anything to still have my dad here, and knowing that he will never meet his grandchildren is hard to accept), but I think getting a negative would almost be even harder since I'll already be very emotional that day. Of course, I won't be working that day - I requested it off because I know I'll be a mess - so if I did get a negative result, at least I would be able to process it at home and not be a mess at work! I know, no need to get ahead of myself just yet... Whatever happens, happens, and I'll figure it out when it does.

For now, I'll be "wishing and hoping and thinking and praying" that in two weeks I'll have the positive result I've wanted for so long!! :)

- Honeybee

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Daddy's hands

"Dad, your guiding hand on my shoulder will remain with me forever."

Today is the first Father's Day since my dad passed away. I miss him more with everyday that goes by. I'm sending my love to heaven, and I hope he knows how thankful I am that he was my dad.

"If I could do things over, I'd live my life again
And never take for granted the love in daddy's hands"

- Honeybee

Friday, June 17, 2011

Are you serious?

Today was my 2nd ultrasound, to confirm or deny whether or not this last course of Femara had worked for me.

When we were at the doctor's on Wednesday we had debated over whether or not to go today, and I decided to go, only because I felt like the "what if's" would drive me crazy if I didn't go. The doctor also suggested that we decide whether we wanted to do another month of Femara, or if we wanted to go on to injections and not waste any more time on Femara. At first my husband and I thought another round of Femara was what we wanted to do, but after discussing it further, we decided that we wanted to pass on another round of Femara and instead go straight to the injections.

So as I headed off to my appointment today I had it all planned out. I went alone today - because my husband only works half days on Fridays and the office is closer to where we work than where we live, and since gas isn't all that cheap, and his truck drinks gas like it's water, I told him he could stay home, not to bother driving out for the appointment, that I would get all the needed information. Well, I had a different doctor for my ultrasound than I normally have, and I also had a medical student in there, as well as a nurse (the fertility clinic I go to is part of a medical school), but they were all super nice, as everyone I meet there is. When the doctor did the ultrasound she commented on how full my bladder was - and then she told me that I had 2 follicles - a 13 mm and a 16 mm - to which my response was, "are you serious?" and then she checked my other side, and told me I had a 9 mm follicle on that side. Oh. my. goodness. On Wednesday I was so disappointed that I nearly cried. Today I was so happy that I did cry! I was in total shock and felt like I was being pranked or something. But it was real! She told me she wanted to give them some time ti keep growing, so on Sunday I'll do my trigger shot and Tuesday morning I'll have my first (and hopefully last) IUI in hopes of making baby number one! :) My husband was thrilled when I called to tell him the news - I could barely talk because I was afraid of sobbing uncontrollably - and very upset with himself that he didn't go with me. Now, I know this IUI might not work, but I am so happy that I went back today... because if I hadn't gone back today we would not have known that this dosage of Femara did in fact work, and we would have gone on to injections. Which would have been more time waiting, more money spent, etc, etc, etc.

And the doctor today told me that in the future, since I have poly cystic ovaries and because I am young, that it is normal for me to ovulate later in my cycles, so I should always insist on having an appointment on day 12 or 13 in order to avoid what happened this time around. I thought that was great advice, and I will definitely follow it (although, I did tell the women who made my appointment that I was told to go in on days 12 or 13, but since there were no openings, she had to give me my original appointment on day 11). So yes, I am very happy and very excited and somewhat nervous. I'm sure my nerves will be super high on Tuesday, but for now I'm still reeling from the shock of the complete turn in events. Definitely did not see that coming!

So I am one happy girl tonight! :)

- Honeybee

Thursday, June 16, 2011


Well, it appears I was (unfortunately) spot on this time around. Once again I have had no response to the Femara (5 mg, days 3 - 7). But I am going back Friday for another ultrasound to rule out any doubts, since the doctor said it is still fairly early in my cycle (yesterday was CD11, Friday will obviously be CD13).

I was, without doubt, very disappointed yesterday. I feel like it is a waste of time to go back Friday, but I know that if I didn't go back I would wonder, "what if?", so I figure it can't hurt to go back in. At least I'll get out of work early since my appointment is at 3. Way to look for the positive in every situation, huh? :) haha

So my husband and I have to make a decision... do another round of Femara, 5 mg again, but days 3 - 10 (instead of 3 - 7), and see if I respond to that, or jump right to injections. I am feeling torn and we definitely need to sit down and discuss!

But for now, I need to get back to work!

- Honeybee

Wednesday, June 15, 2011


Sitting at my doctor's office right now, waiting to be called back for the ultrasound to determine whether the Femara worked for me this month. Super nervous! Hoping for the best, but fearing the worst... So glad my husband is here with me!

- Honeybee

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Yesterday my husband and I took a day trip to beautiful Beaufort, North Carolina with a friend and her adorable blue-eyed boy. It was a gorgeous day for a mini road trip (about 4 hours from where we live) and I enjoyed it very much. On the drive home we talked about all sorts of things. We even briefly talked about our infertility struggle. My husband and I were married 6 years and 11 months ago. :) And we have thoroughly enjoyed our child free life. My desire to have children came years before my husband's desire. Not that either one of us ever doubted that we wanted to have children... We just wanted time to enjoy our life as a two-some before we added any more members to our family. But we both agreed that we wanted more than one child (more like 5, thankyouverymuch!) and we discussed parenting issues that we knew we would face one day to be sure we were prepared for whatever the future holds. It sure is scary to worry that the large family we've dreamt of could be just that - a dream. I just have to try and remember that even though sometimes being 26 feels ancient, I am still young and we have no reason to feel hopeless.

My next appointment is in just a few days. Yesterday was my last dose of Femara. I'm hoping and praying my body will have responded to this course of pills. But, part of me is worried because I just don't "feel" like my body is working.  Like, if my girly parts were kicking into high gear and doing their job I want to think that I would know it... feel it... be sure of it. Does that seem silly? Okay, I know it is. But still, I can't help it! I suppose there is no sense in worrying over it though because I'll obviously have my answer in a few days. And you know I'll be back to share the news!

- Honeybee

Tuesday, June 7, 2011

How much is that doggy in the window?

Anybody want 2 dogs?

hahahahaha... They sure are lucky I love them!

- Honeybee

Monday, June 6, 2011

On the road again!

Okay, I'm not really on the road, but I am on CD2 which means we're back to where I feel like we're actively moving towards our goal of becoming pregnant. Tomorrow I'll start my Femara (5 mg this time around, since my body didn't respond to 2.5 mg) and I have my ultrasound appointment scheduled already. :) Hoping for the best, obviously!

Super tired... about to go to bed super early, especially since my husband is already asleep in his recliner! What a bunch of old folks we are. :)

- Honeybee

Friday, May 27, 2011

Whirlwind weekends...

Well, last weekend went way too fast. My sister-in-law and one of my husband's oldest friends drove down from Ohio to spend the weekend with us. It was great! We had a lot of fun, except for the horrible sunburns we are suffering from. Never again will I forget sunscreen!

And, although my husband is in Ohio this weekend, which I thought meant I would have nothing to do (since I don't have many close friends here), my weekend is quickly booking up! I'm going to the outlets in Williamsburg tomorrow with a girl I met at work (whose husband is also in the Navy), and Monday I'm making a day trip to the Outer Banks with a girl that my husband works with (so, she is in the Navy). Sunday I hope to clean our closet, because it really needs a deep cleaning. Especially since we threw everything in there when we had visitors last weekend in an effort to make our bedroom look cleaner! ;)

Currently on day 4 of Provera. Which I nearly forgot to take. I need to set an alarm in my phone to remind me daily! And good news - my period has held off long enough to ensure that my husband will be home, so we don't have to worry about that. Whew! :) I guess God didn't laugh at me after all! hahaha

- Honeybee

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

God, if you're listening, please don't laugh...

Yes, I'm still here. No, I haven't given up on my blog already! :) I am currently waiting to begin my 10 days of Provera because my husband will be out of town for a week at the end of the month, and I was worried that if I had started my pills when the doctor said it was okay to start them (the Sunday after the ultrasound that showed I hadn't responded to the 2.5 mg of Femara), I would end up being on CD12 and CD13 when my husband was out of town. And if I do happen to respond to the 5 mg of Femara that I'm slated to take this time, I certainly don't want my husband to be missing in action when it's time for the IUI! Therefore, I am going to wait to start the Provera. I have it all planned out based on the slim chance that I could miracously start my period the same day I start taking the Provera, which would put me at CD12 the day after he returns, so we won't have to worry about him being gone for the ultrasound and possible subsequent IUI. And I doubt my period will start that day - I'm sure we'll have more time between when he returns and when we have to go in for an ultrasound to see if the meds worked. Although, it's always possible that my typically long irregular cycle length will be short this time around and my plan will be blown out of the water, but I'm hoping for the best! Be sure to stay tuned to see if God laughs at me for thinking I have this all planned out. :) hahaha....

- Honeybee

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Happy Mother's Day to me!

I'm a proud mama to my beautiful puppies! :) So yes, Happy Mother's Day to me!

Whew, what a weekend! Super early Saturday morning my husband and I crawled out of bed to join some of my co-workers at the Relay for Life. I walked in honor of my mother, a lung cancer survivor, and in memory of my father, who lost his fight against lung cancer this past summer. Later that morning I broke down crying in my husband's arms. I was an emotional mess... the combination of the Relay for Life, struggling to balance doctor's visits and possible IUI's with trips to our home state this summer, and the looming Mother's Day made me break. Thankfully my husband was understanding and said all the right things to make me feel better. :) And this morning he took me out to a lovely iHop breakfast because he knows I love their cinn-a-stack pancakes. Yummy! hahaha :)

In other news, I got my Femara prescription filled at the pharmacy this weekend, but had to leave without my Provera for 2 reasons. One, because they were charging me more than I felt I should have to pay (based on past prescriptions, what they were claiming I owed was more than I had ever paid before) and two, because even though I was supposed to get 10 pills, they only gave me 5 and said they didn't know when I would get the next 5. Okay, well since not only are you charging me more than I should have to pay based on what I know my insurance covers, but you are also not sure when I'll get the remaining 5 pills, I'll just go somewhere else. Makes sense, right?

Well, my husband spent a small fortune at the store today getting all sorts of stuff for his fish tank (new glass for the top, new lights, more plants, more fish), so I'm off to help him get it all set up.

- Honeybee

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Keep on, keeping on...

Well, the appointment went well. I got to leave work early and be accompanied by my husband to the doctor's office. The nurses are always so sweet and I really like the doctors there. There was absolutely no wait and the overall appointment was fairly quick. But, unfortunately the 2.5 mg of Femara didn't do anything for me this cycle. So the plan is to do an ovulation test on Friday/Saturday, just to see if I do happen to ovulate (because as the doctor said, you never know!), and if those are negative, I will start Provera on Sunday (since my cycles are so irregular and waiting for my period to start on it's own could be a long wait!) and take it for 10 days (I've only ever taken it for 5 days before, but the doctor said my lining was pretty thick so she felt 10 days was better). Then I'll take 5 mg of Femara (two of the 2.5 mg a day) and go from there. Hopefully next month we'll have better luck!

I'm not going to lie, I did feel some disappointment, but I know that getting the right dosage amount can take time, and I just have to be patient. But it sure isn't easy all time! :-P

The Relay for Life is this weekend, and I'm excited about going to walk. My mom is a lung cancer survivor, and my dad passed away from lung cancer this past summer. I'm going to make a shirt with a picture of them on it, that says something along the lines of "my dad, an angel in heaven... my mom, a hero on earth" that I can wear to the event. Hopefully it'll turn out the way I want it to. :)

Bedtime for this girl, I'm tired!

- Honeybee

Monday, May 2, 2011


Well, tomorrow is the day we go to the doctor to find out whether the Femara is working for me this month. I'm nervous because I have no idea what to expect! This is our first time going through all of this, so I'm nervous about what's going to happen and what they're going to say. Of course my husband seems oblivious to it all, and doesn't get what I'm feeling. Nothing wrong with that, I understand that it's understandable for him to not understand the anxiousness that I feel, but in a way, it'd be nice if he were just an anxious as me! :)

I'll definitely be back tomorrow to share what we learned at the doctor!

- Honeybee

Friday, April 29, 2011

Ready to relax...

Whew, these last few days have been rough. Go, go, go pretty much all day, every day. I am a tired girl!

Tuesday my husband dragged me to a parenting seminar that the FFSC (Fleet and Family Support Center) had. It didn't end up being exactly what we expected, but we were able to learn of some good resources we can use in the future, once I'm finally pregnant. But, being one of the few women in the room who was not pregnant was not fun!

Wednesday evening I took my last Femara pill. I'm very anxious about whether or not the medicine has worked, and I know I'll be a nervous wreck next week when we go to the doctor to find out if I've responded to the medicine.

I'm hoping and praying that everything turns out the way I want it to, but I'm terrified that once again, I'll just be disappointed. But, I'm going to do my best to relax and enjoy this weekend and not get too worked up! Wish me luck! :)

- Honeybee

Monday, April 25, 2011

All over the place...

I slept horribly last night. Not really sure why. Well, really, my brain just couldn't shut off. So aggravating! And of course, my thoughts were all baby related. With us finally moving forward in the baby making department, I've been going crazy! All the "what if's" and the "it could happen!" thoughts. But at the same time, trying so hard to not get my hopes up. Which, as I'm sure you can understand, is not that easy!

Today I feel kind of out of it. My head hurts a bit, and I feel a little tiny bit feverish. Looking forward to an early bedtime tonight!

As for TTC... CD5, day 3 of Femara, and next week I'll have an ultrasound to see if the medicine has worked at all. Fingers crossed! :)

- Honeybee

Sunday, April 24, 2011

Hi, my name is...

Okay, so this is obviously my first post. I'm Honeybee, and my husband of nearly 7 years is Seabee. I am a customer service rep/data entry guru who wishes she was a photographer. My husband is a Navy Seabee (hence the nickname). We have two dogs we love, but we long to become parents. Unfortunately our dream of being surprised by pregnancy has proven to be next to impossible, since I don't ovulate, and my husband's sperm are swimming through jello, apparently. So this is our journey through infertility. I hope that having other people to talk about this with will help us get through it all! We are brand new to all of it, so it's scary and overwhelming and I'm sure many of you can relate to the roller coaster ride we are strapped into and ready to ride.

Here's where we are right now... My husband and I are high school sweethearts. We took all the right precautions in high school... birth control and condoms. We didn't want any surprises! :) Once we married, we waited a year before throwing out our birth control. At that point we weren't trying, but we weren't not trying either. We figured God would bless us with a child when it was time. Fast forward 2 years and I am baby crazy, but my husband's deployment schedule made baby making hard, especially since I have such irregular cycles (anywhere from 28 days to 120 days). We moved to our current duty station a little over a year ago, and decided that since we were looking at 3 years with no deployments (fingers crossed!) we would start TTC for real. I knew my crazy cycle would make things complicated, so I bought a ton of ovulation tests and started using them everyday (since I knew the wackiness of it made it hard to pick just 2 or 3 days to test on) and after a few months of not getting any positive ovulation results my suspicions were confirmed and I made an appointment with my primary doctor to get a referral to a fertility specialist. After spending the winter months getting all of our testing done, we discovered that I am not ovulating on my own (which I already suspected), because I have poly cystic ovaries, and that my husband's semen is "too thick." Our doctor has prescribed Femara for me, and an IUI once I have a mature egg and a lining that is thick enough. Currently I am CD4 (after taking Provera for 5 days and starting my cycle after 11 days), and I am on day 2 of Femara.

Feeling very anxious but trying to remain hopeful that this will be the year we finally become parents.

- Honeybee